


Let's Run Away

by kolya



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Fluff, thats really all it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2013-09-28
Packaged: 2017-12-11 14:05:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/799562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kolya/pseuds/kolya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk finally convinces Jane to meet up with him. And after meeting up, the Condesce finds out what her beloved little heiress is up to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You boot up your computer after your dad finally drops you off at home. You're very thankful there's only a couple days left. Two more exams, that's all you have. He picked you up during his lunchbreak again, leaving little time for him to actually eat. You still had to dawdle around the school for an hour after your exam. You had a pretty boring time while waiting. You wished your school was filled with the awesome people you met through the internet, not the hipster clones.

  
You click on the internet browser. It pops up and loads your homepage. You minimize it to open Pesterchum, which you've finally converted to. As soon as you log into it, the chat labelled timaeusTestified begins to blink. You smile slightly and open the chat.

 

TT: You're finally home.  
TT: Didn't your exam end at like 10?

  
GG: Eleven, actually.  
GG: Ten for you.

  
TT: Whatever. Time zones make everything confusing.

  
GG: No, you just can't keep up with them.

  
TT: You making fun of me?

  
GG: Possibly. :B

  
TT: You're a huge dork.

  
GG: You are, too.

  
TT: Touche.

  
GG: Ugh, I'm so sick of studying.  
GG: Do it for me.

  
TT: Sorry, I can't really do that unless you want to fail.  
TT: It's only two more exams, babe.

  
GG: You're lucky.  
GG: You're finished school already.  
GG: I hate you.

  
TT: Awe, don't say that.

  
GG: It's true.

  
TT: No, it's not.

  
GG: Yes.

  
TT: No.

  
GG: Yes.

  
TT: Okay, fine, you hate me, whatever.

  
GG: Okay, nevermind, I don't hate you.

  
TT: That's what I thought.

  
GG: They're such boring classes.  
GG: Why did I even take them?

  
TT: I have no idea. Why?

  
GG: Shut it, mister smarty pants.

  
TT: Oh, Janey's got some sass tonight.

  
GG: It's noon.

  
TT: I know that.  
TT: Just skip them.

  
GG: I need to pass them to graduate next year.

  
TT: Right.  
TT: You're pretty smart, right? Skipping shouldn't make your mark go low enough to fail you.

  
GG: Not taking the chance.

  
TT: Darn.  
TT: I would have gone to DC just to congratulate you on your badassery.

  
GG: Too bad it's not going to happen.

  
TT: What if I came anyway?

That question throws you off. You always wondered what it would be like to meet Dirk. He's your best friend and the best one you could ask for. Not to mention the crush you've had on him for a long while, not that the feelings would ever be reciprocated.

 

TT: Jane?

  
GG: Sorry, got distracted.

  
TT: So, what about it?

  
GG: What about what?

  
TT: Me coming to see you.

  
GG: My dad would have a fit if I gave one of my internet buddies my address.

  
TT: Hm.  
TT: What if I met you somewhere, or like halfway?

  
GG: He'd probably have an even worse fit.

  
TT: Oh, come on.  
TT: There's kids our age becoming parents and shit.  
TT: You'd just be going on a measly road trip.

  
GG: Yes, a road trip is nothing compared to the dangers of becoming a parent.

  
TT: I'm serious.

  
GG: I am, too.

  
TT: But why not?  
TT: We've known each other since we were like, what? Eleven?  
TT: It's time we met face to face.

  
GG: So our eyes can meet and a pokemon battle ensues, right?

  
TT: Stop being so difficult!  
TT: You're avoiding this because you know how much you really want to!

  
GG: I know...  
GG: Just … what if something happens?

  
TT: I'd never let anything hurt you.

  
GG: I know, but anything can happen...

  
TT: And anything can happen if you stay at home all summer.  
TT: A fire.  
TT: Robbery.  
TT: A handsome devil in orange kidnapping you from your house.  
TT: What.

  
GG: Funny.

  
TT: I'm just saying, anything can happen anywhere.

  
GG: True.  
GG: Okay.

  
TT: Okay?

  
GG: Yeah, okay. Let's do this, Strider.

  
TT: Really?

  
GG: Yeah.  
GG: I have a fair bit of money saved up from working at the bakery.  
GG: If I keep working there next year, I'll have more than enough for college, anyway.

  
TT: Sweet.  
TT: I've got a pretty big lump of dough from the smuppets.  
TT: You checked out the link I sent you, right?

  
GG: Didn't even touch it.

  
TT: Didn't think so.  
TT: So, where are we going to meet?

  
GG: Um, just a sec.

 

You open the web browser again, type out the address for google and click on maps. You scroll around the USA for a place halfway between Houston and Washington.

 

GG: How about Atlanta, Georgia?

  
TT: Sounds good.

  
GG: June 30th?  
GG: Two days after my last exam.

  
TT: It's a date.

You blush profusely at his comment and finally realize how grateful you are for the screen between the two of you. Though, it won't be there for much longer.

==>

You flop onto your bed after finishing your last exam. Which means you'll be leaving tomorrow. Running away. With intentions of returning. Which sounds kind of weird and pointless. You sit up and glance around your room, beginning to make a list of things to bring. You can't bring much, since you'll only be able to handle one bag. You'll probably use your school bag – it's what you're accustomed to.

  
You dump out it's contents onto the floor and begin to stuff a few necessities into it.

> Be Dirk

“So, where are you going?” Dave wonders as you pace around your room, collecting items to pile into your backpack. He's leaning against your doorframe, watching you as you go.

  
“I'm going to Atlanta to meet Jane.”

  
“John's sis?!” Dave exclaimed, “Can I come?”

  
“No! John's not going with her, dipshit.”

  
“Right, 'course not. You'll probably want as much alone time with her as you can get.” You decide to not reply to his statement, as true as it is, “You're not gonna bang her, she's such a prude.”

  
“She's not a prude! She's just not handing it out to any guy for free.”

  
“But you're not just any guy.”

  
“It's not like she actually has a thing for me. I'm not the kind of guy that can give her the life she wants. She wants to be a baker, to go home to a loving husband, good kids and a steady life. I'm not that kind of guy and I can never be that guy. So, I'm stuck as the best friend.”

  
“Right, okay.” Dave straightened up, waltzing down the hall, “See you in a week or whatever.”

  
You zip up the bag, it's a tight fit, but you got everything you need inside. You grab your wallet and are finally walking out of the house to meet the girl of your dreams.

 

==> Be Jane again

You sling the handle of your bag over your head for it to rest on your shoulder. Your father is still at work, but will be home within the hour – you can't afford to waste any time or you'll never get to meet Dirk tomorrow.

  
You look over the note for your dad one last time, before setting it on your neatly made bed and exiting your room.

  
You crack the door open an inch. You see the lights on in your brother's room from under the door. You creep into the hall and quietly shut the door behind you.  
“Jane!” You hear John yell out. His door slams open, “Dave said you're leaving!” He stops before you, taking in your thick bag and traveling clothes and sneakers. “It's true.” He gasps.

  
“I—I'm going to meet Dirk, okay?” You say, hoping and praying he will understand.

  
“Can I go?” He asks, “I want to meet Dave.”

  
“I'm not going to their house. And I don't have enough money, John. Or enough time. I have to leave soon. I'm sorry.”

  
“Oh … Okay.” John sighs, “Just … Come home soon.”

  
“I will.”

  
“And be careful.”

  
“Don't worry.”

  
“And don't get pregnant.”

  
“John!”

  
“I don't know what you're gonna do with the guy!”

  
“Well, it's definitely not gonna be anything like that!”

  
“Okay, okay, whatever.”

  
You smirk slightly, “Goodbye, John,” You pull him into a tight hug, “I'll miss you.”

  
“I'll miss you, too.” You pull away from him to look him straight in the eyes, “You had no idea I am doing this and if he asks where I am, I said I was going to the library, got it?” He nods, “Good. Okay, bye-bye, kiddo!” You wave as you make your way down the stairs and out the door.

  
You quickly walk away from your house, towards the bus station you found to take you to Atlanta. It's not long before you've bought your ticket and are waiting in the station for ten o'clock to come around. Hopefully your dad doesn't come to this fine establishment looking for you before that.

 

==>

You wake up to find yourself still on the bus. A very uncomfortable bus, if you might add. And it's still on the highway. You turn on your phone to see it's a little after eight, and to see your father has been trying to get a hold of you all night. You feel a horrible pain in your stomach, you're probably worrying the man to death. You're going to be the cause of you and John becoming orphans.

  
No, he'll be fine. And hopefully John doesn't give it away that he knew. You sigh and pull out your mp3 player, indulging yourself in your favourite songs for the last hour of your ride.

  
You escape at around nine-thirty, you lug your bag off the bus and quickly leave the station – you're supposed to meet Dirk in a half hour. You recall the map you found of the area, you're sure the Starbucks is only a few blocks away. You can make it there for ten if you walk quickly.  
Though walking quickly proves to be a bit tough, your bag being extremely heavy, and all, but you try your best.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read, enjoy and review !! uwu

> Be Dirk

You sit at your table in the corner of the Starbucks, facing the rest of the room, scanning it for the familiar face you love. You're glad you've exchanged pictures with Jane before, otherwise, quite a few of the girls you've seen in the past hour could have been her. You glance down at your phone to check the time – there's five minutes until ten. Your heart starts beating insanely as you worry she might not be coming, she has always seemed the kind of girl to be early. But there's still five minutes, you remind yourself.

  
To keep yourself calm, you open the convo between you and your little bro.

  
_She's not coming, I knew she'd chicken out. Fuck, this sucks._ You type out and await a response.

  
_Sucker i guess no sex for you oh wait … shes a fuckin prude._ He replies a moment later.

  
_Shut the fuck up._ You groan and prop your head in your palm. You grumpily glance around the room once more, though you don't have very high hopes.

  
Until you see a head of short, black, curly hair. The girl is wearing a bright blue jacket, meaning it can only be Jane. She's standing in line and turns her head just enough for you to get a glance at the side of her face. She's wearing glasses and has a cutely rounded face, just like Jane.

  
You're so stunned you can't bring yourself to get up. You just sit in your seat for a minute, mouth gaping slightly. What if she's so turned off by you that she leaves immediately. She's so pretty, she doesn't deserve you.

  
You slowly stand from your chair, collecting your coffee and cautiously make your way over to her. You nervously extend your hand to tap her shoulder, she spins around, flustered for a moment.

  
“Dirk?” She wonders, you nod and a huge smile lights up her face. Oh, god, what are you doing, you can't do anything for this girl. “Dirk, golly, I can't believe I'm finally seeing you!” She suddenly pulls you into a hug, making your heart skip a beat and your lungs stop drawing air. Jane pulls away after a few moments to stare at your face.

  
“Nice shades, by the way.” She giggles.

  
“Like in them animes.” You chuckle.

  
“Yeah,” Jane smiles up at you. Her toothy grin is so cute, you don't know how long you're going to be able to make it without kissing her and creeping the fuck out of her. “I just can't believe I'm actually seeing you right now. After all this time!” She wraps her arms around your waist again, this time for longer.

  
“Hey, Jane, she can take your order now.” She jumps away from you, causing you to smirk as she places her order. She asks for some girly sounding coffee and you wait in line with her for it to be prepared. They hand her the cup as well as a bagel after calling out her name. You lead her back to the table you had been sitting at. You sip your coffee as she finishes her bagel.

  
“I have not had a thing to eat since the kraft dinner I made for me and John yesterday after school. I am starving.” Jane states as she finishes off the bagel.  
“Wow, I thought you'd make like a cake or something and eat it on the way.”

  
“Are you calling me fat?” Jane wonders suggestively. You're about to argue that that was not what you meant, but her face breaks into a joker's smile, “I'm teasing. You'd never say something like that to someone's face, unless they deserved it. I know you too well.”

  
“Yeah, you do.” He agreed, but then the thought that she would know about his crush on her if she knew him better.

  
“I made some cookies, I planned to eat a few, but John had some, 'cause he didn't know I was going away, and I had to keep some for you. By the way, your brother is a major tattletale.” Jane sips her coffee grumpily.

  
“Why? What'd he do?”

  
“He told John I was coming to meet you before I left.”

  
“He didn't tell your dad, right?”

  
Jane shakes her head, “No, but he wanted to come to meet Dave.”

  
“Yeah, Dave wanted to come too.”

  
“Does he have a thing for John?”

  
“Yeah, and John has a things for him, right?”

  
“Definitely.”

  
“And we're the only ones that know.” You chuckle. A small smile flashes across her face before she takes another sip, “So, you made me cookies?”

  
“Oh, yes, I did!” Jane suddenly straightens up, she sets down the cup and reaches for her bag, “I would have made cupcakes or something, but those would have been too hard to pack,” She says as she pulls out a bag filled with chocolate chip cookies.

  
“Sweet, I can't believe you actually made them just for me.”

  
“Well, you always tell me how much you'd love to taste my cooking.” She pulls one cookie out for herself and hands the rest to you. You excitably snatch the bag from her grasp and shove half a cookie into your mouth. “Woah, slow down, I made them for you to enjoy, not choke on.”

  
You smirk and swallow the chewy deliciousness, “If I had to die from eating something, it would be your cooking. I mean, I'd choose that, not saying it's bad.” You say before she can accuse you of something again, even if she's just joking around.

  
“Then I'd feel terrible.”

  
“But I'd die a happy death.”

  
“Oh, I guess that's alright then.”

  
“So, what the fuck are we gonna do?”

  
“I have no idea, I never planned that far.” Jane says as she glances around the store thoughtfully.

  
“Great, so we get to just hang out in a hotel for the entire time.”

  
“I would have looked for a few things, but I was a bit preoccupied with getting outside without my dad killing me.”

  
“Right, I shoulda done that yesterday. Sorry.”

  
“It's okay! It means we can just dawdle until we find something to do!” Jane says happily.

  
“Gonna be fun!” You agree with a bit of enthusiasm knitted in, “Do you wanna stop at the hotel to drop off your bag?”

  
“You have a hotel room already?”

  
“Yeah, I came a day early.”

  
“Oh, okay, great, let's go.” Jane stands, reaching to grab her bag, but you decide to be a gentleman and grab it before she can.  
“I'll be taking this.”

  
“Dirk, I can carry it myself.”

  
“But this way I can make sure you won't make a run for it.” You grin.

  
“Why would I ever do that?”

  
“I dunno, but you're pretty insane, you do some pretty stupid shit.”

  
“I do not!”

  
“By stupid I meant funny.”

  
“I still don't!”

  
“Who's the one that forgot to turn off the cam and began singing for me?”

  
“Roxy probably did that...”

  
“Okay, yeah, but she was drunk.” Jane doesn't reply, she just trots along the sidewalk next to you with a stubborn expression. You smirk at the adorable face, “You weren't that bad. Much better than Roxy's drunken slurs.”

  
“She'd probably be a lot better if she stayed sober for, like, five minutes.”

  
“Nah, you're singing's probably the best,” You say, “If Dave ever makes that musical Sweet Bro movie, I'll make sure you get an audition.”

  
She laughs antagonizingly, “Right, me, an actress, and a singer. Okay.” She pretends to wipe a tear from the corner of her eyes.

  
“It's that kind of attitude that makes you bomb the audition.”

  
“You know I'm not meant for the stage.”

  
“You think, but I would watch any movie you're in.”

  
She blushes a bit at your remark, but replies with; “You'd probably be the only one in the theatre.”

  
“Not if it was the Sweet Bro musical,” You say flatly, then grin, “Dave would be there, too.”

  
Jane giggles, covering her mouth with her hand, then snorts accidentally and stops abruptly.

  
“Oh, my fucking god,” You say, “That was fuckin' perfect.”

  
“Oh, gosh, no, I hate it when I do that.”

  
“'Course you do.”

  
“I feel like such a dork when I do it.”

  
“You are a dork. You're related to John, he's a major dork. I think you guys need to stop having so many dorky movie marathons. His dorkiness is rubbing off on you.”

  
She shrugs, “Oh, well, maybe I'll lose some of that dorkiness when I move out.”

  
“Doubt it.” You scoff. She glares at you pointedly from the corner of her eye.

  
“I guess there's no hope for me.”

  
“Nope, none at all. You'll be a dork for life. You'll be a dorky eighty year old woman knitting dorky movie sweaters, or whatever the dorky version of whatever it is old ladies do.”

  
“I think you're a dork just for saying dork that much.”

  
“Ssshhhh, Jane, no,” You reach to cover her mouth, “No, quiet, Jane. Sh, bad.” Jane tries to slap your hand away, but you're stronger than her and she gives up in a fit of giggles.

  
You spot the hotel and lead her to the entrance, you pull open the entrance and hold it for her with your foot. She smiles, saying a giggly “thank you” as she passes. She walks next to you as you make your way across the lobby to the elevator. You both impatiently wait for the elevator to arrive, she steps in first, then you set her bag in the otherwise empty compartment. You find and press the glimmering button labeled with a five.

  
Unlocking the door to your room, you lead her inside, then shut the door. You toss Jane's bag onto a chair next to the little table. Jane flops onto the made bed next to yours. She closes her eyes, as if she's about to fall asleep. You smile at her happily relaxed expression before crawling onto the bed with her. Your body hovers above her, keeping her from moving. She slowly opens her eyes.

  
“Since we don't have anything planned, we have a lot of free time, huh?” You say, “We could have some fun.”

  
Jane's face twists up as she tries to figure out what you mean. Her eyes widen in recognition, while her entire face goes red.  
You laugh at her embarrassed face, “I'm just kidding,” You roll over onto the bedding next to her, “Unless you want to.”  
“Dirk!” She squeaks.

  
You laugh, “You're such a square.”

  
“Am not!”

  
You smirk in opposition to her opinion, but she doesn't react to your attitude.

  
“But I should probably have a shower before we do anything else. I was sitting on that bus for too long.” She jumps up from the bed to retrieve a shampoo bottle from her bag and enters the bathroom and closing the door behind her, but you notice that she didn't lock the door behind her. She actually does trust you, no matter how pervy you come off to her.


	3. Chapter 3

==> Be Jane

 

After soaking up the water from your hair, you dry the rest of your body and proceed to put your clothes back on. You settle your glasses on your nose, then open the bathroom door, releasing the steam from your shower into the main room. Dirk is propped up against the headboard of your bed, slumped as if sleeping. When he doesn't respond to your reappearance, you assume he _did_ fall asleep after all.

You quietly prance over to the bedside, carefully slipping his anime shades from his face, you bend the arms and set the pair on the bedside table.

“Dirk.” You whisper, he stirs, but his eyes don't open. You notice how close you are to him, suddenly feeling self-conscious, you move away, sitting on the edge of the bed next to him. Though, you're still awfully close, you hope he doesn't mind. Then again, he's the one that suggested “fun.”

“Dirk, wake up.” You say softly, shaking his shoulder. His eyes slowly open, blinking a couple times before he's awake. “Was I really that long?”

“I guess so.” He sits up rubbing his eyes tiredly.

“I'm sorry, I just felt really gross after sitting on that bus for almost twelve hours.”

“Nah, it's cool. I know how you feel, I took a really long shower when I got here yesterday,” He stretches out his arms, they drop and he looks at you quizzically. “Where's my shades?”

“There,” You nod at the folded shades next to him. He reaches to take them, but you move his hand away, “No, leave them off.”

“Ugh, why?” He groans.

You giggle, reaching your hand to his face, “Your eyes … they're really pretty.” You stare at his eyes intently, entranced by the bright sunsets compressed into his irises.

“No, they weird people out.”

“Well, _I_ think they're beautiful.” You say. A second later, you realize what you said and you feel your face heat up. “I mean, uhm...” Dirk glances downwards, a smile hinting his lips, blood flushing his face for a second.

“Thanks, but orange eyes aren't really natural.”

“Obviously, they are, since you have them. Unless they're contacts.”

“No, they're not contacts.”

“There you go, then.”

“I'd still like to not get some weird looks.”

“And _those_ shades are going to prevent weird looks?” You wonder as he puts the shades back on, you see him squinting at you as his eyes disappear behind the shades.

“Feels more natural to have them on, you know?” He answers you, “So, what now?” He asks. You shrug, leaving the side of the bed, you wander over to the table where a few very uninformative pamphlets lay.

“We wander, I guess?” You say. Dirk slides off the bed, grabbing his jacket and slipping into his shoes. You follow him to the door where you slip your own sneakers onto your feet. You rip your purse from your backpack before joining Dirk in the hallway, he locks the door and you begin walking towards the elevator. You walk silently, though you want to start talking, you want him to talk, so you can listen to his voice, you won't be able to hear it again soon, but you have no idea what to say.

You stand in the elevator next to him. He smiles when he notices you looking at him, but otherwise shows no interest in starting a conversation. You're probably boring him...

The two of you are halfway across the lobby when you notice a sign being taped up by an employee.

 

“OTAKON TICKETS SOLD HERE.”

 

You stop, latching onto Dirk's jacket, “Hey, what's that about?” You point at the paper with an arrow printed across it.

“Dunno. Sounds like an expo, or something, wanna check it out?” Dirk asks. You nod. He grabs your wrist and pulls you over to the receptionist. “Hey, what's the Otakon thing?”

“It's an anime expo held in the hotel this weekend annually. You can purchase tickets through here if you haven't already,” The woman gestures to a door way along the wall her desk sits against. You fidget next to Dirk, unsure what to do with yourself, “Today it will only be running from one to five, but tomorrow and sunday it will be open from ten until eight, with plenty of workshops, viewings and celebrity appearances.”

“Thanks.” Dirk says, smiling at the woman, then leads you away from the desk, closer to the doorway, “Do you wanna go?” He asks.

“Sure! It sounds like fun,” You nod, “I've never been to one before.”

“Oh, you poor, deprived soul,” He says, grabbing your hand. He pulls you through the doorway. There's already a small line-up at the ticket booths, but it won't take more than five minutes to make it to the front, “I'm buying us weekend passes.”

“No, Dirk, I can buy it myself!” You insist.

“Too bad. I'm before you in line and I plan on buying two tickets. Do you really want me to waste my money on an extra ticket that won't get used?” He tells you stubbornly, “Besides, I've probably got more money to spend than you.”

That's probably true, but you won't tell Dirk. He shoves his hands into his pockets, “How's lil Seb? Still working good?”

“I would have told you if he wasn't.”

“Okay, good.”

“My dad doesn't really appreciate him much, though.”

“Oh, that sucks.”

“Yeah, so he usually stays in my room. Or John's.”

“Why doesn't he like Seb?”

“We'll just say Seb tried to defend us against a few menacing harlequins.”

“Okay, yeah, that would probably piss him off. Oh, God, if someone sliced up any of my smuppets, bitches would die.”

You giggle, “Gosh, you didn't bring any, did you?”

“Possibly.”

“Why?” You groan. You know what he does with those things. Just, why?

“There are four things I wouldn't think of leaving at home for more than a few hours. Those would be my shades, my favourite smuppet, Cal and my katana.”

“You brought your katana?” You whisper to him under your breath.

“Yeah, one more reason I took my car.”

“Are you freaking serious?!”

“Yeah, I'll show you when we go back upstairs.”

“Dirk! If someone finds that, you're going to be in so much trouble.”

“Hey, Janey, no one is going to find it, unless _I_ want them to find it. Don't worry.”

You sigh heavily, rolling your eyes noticeably. Dirk chuckles lightly, then returns to silence. The pair of you make it up to the front of the line. Dirk is sure to step ahead of you, ensuring that he may purchase two tickets before you can pay for your own.

“Do you still have weekend passes?” Dirk asks as he steps up to the booth.

“Yeah, you're lucky, we've got almost a dozen spots left.” One of the guys says.

“Sweet. I'll take two of those.” The guy nods, taking the bills from Dirk. You make sure not to pay attention to the price, so you don't beat yourself up about how much the trip is costing Dirk. The guy hands Dirk two passes and the receipt, telling him to have a good time. Dirk hands one to you as you both walk away. You shove it into your pocket for now, there's still more than an hour before it starts.

“Do you want to get some lunch before we go, then?” Dirk asks you.

“I could eat.” You tell him.

You find yourself in line with Dirk at another coffee shop across the street from the hotel. Again, the man has insisted on paying. All you can do now is think of how much you're going to regret it later. Not that you didn't put up a fight, but Dirk is much more persuasive and stubborn than you. He pays for the order and you help him carry everything to a small table adjacent to the wide window.

“I am buying dinner tonight, by the way, Dirk.” You tell him as you try to figure out which to eat first. The sandwich, delectable looking cookies or one of the squares.

“No you're not.” He says without removing his gaze from his sandwich as he unwraps it.

“Dirk!”

“Jane!” He trains his gaze on you with a flat expression before biting into his sandwich, “What if I buy everything for you to make me dinner?”

“What?”

“Jane, do you honestly think that while living with Dave and my bro, who is in and out of the house for days on end for work, I ever get a real, home-cooked meal?”

You don't reply—it doesn't sound likely. “Alright, fine. But this is going to be one hell of a dinner.”

“And that's exactly what I want.” Dirk says, shoving the sandwich into his mouth, which is still full of chewed up sandwich bits. You can't help but smirk while he isn't paying attention.

 

==> Be Dirk.

 

No matter how popular the expo is, it's always the least busy on the friday, or even thursday, if it runs that long. But there's still quite a bunch of people, enough to not make you feel out of place. Jane totally feels out of place. She's never been to an expo, she's not as into anime as you, and she has no idea what to do. It's kind of funny. You lead her to a few booths that catch your eye. There's one in particular that makes you go straight for it. Hand made dresses, cosplays, corsets and other attire hangs from the racks within the few square meters allowed to the vendor. You see so many right away that you want to see Jane in, some sexy that would show her off, some so adorable that would flaunt her cuteness.

“Please tell me you're wanting to crossdress this weekend.” Jane groans, knowing the answer isn't what she wants, as you pull her over. You skim the racks and the tags, they are pretty pricey.

“Well, maybe if I find one that will compliment my eyes perfectly.” You say in a modest tone. You hear Jane giggle, though she probably hates herself for it now.

You pull one off the rack. It'll come down to a couple inches above her knees. It has a puffy skirt lined with plenty of sky blue ruffles. The top half looks like a corset, in a lighter shade than that of the skirt, sapphire laces used to tie it up, the only “strap” to hold it up is the collar to loop around her neck and attach to the edge of the corset.

“Try it on.” You hand it to her.

Jane pushes your hand and the hangar away from her. She covers her face with her other hand, embarrassed. You can see the blood colouring her cheeks, “No way.” Jane squeaks.

“Please?” You ask, almost begging, you realize as it comes out.

“No, I'll look silly,” Her face is almost as red as a cherry.

“If you're worried about other people seeing you, I'll gladly go in the stall with you.”

You had no idea it was possible for her to blush more. Jane snatches the hangar from your hand and stomps away to the changing stall set up in the corner of the dealer's area. You feel your mouth curling into a smile. Oh, god, you can't wait to see her in it.

It's a good thing she's pretty fast to change.

Jane pulls the curtain back, her regular clothes bunched up in her hands, face looking down at the floor. She glances up at you, she's not as red as before, but definitely unsure of herself.

You realize the smile she had put on your face before in now replaced by an “O”.

“Does it really look that bad?” She wonders. You snap your mouth shut, mentally slapping yourself—you're just making her feel worse.

“No! Just the opposite!” You insist. You step towards her, meaning to close the gap between you entirely, but that would mean cutting off the good view of Jane, forcing you to stop. You instruct her to turn, she does so, but hesitantly. You hadn't noticed the back was tied with a larger ribbon with a larger bow at the base.

Finally you let yourself lose the view, so you can be face to face with her. Jane. She's gorgeous. You wish for a second that you could give her everything she deserves. But you know she loves Jake, and Jake's a better guy than you'll ever be.

“Uhm, I should change out of this before she thinks we're going to buy this.” Jane turns to switch her clothes, but you grab her shoulder before she can step back inside.

“But we are going to buy it.” You tell her, “More specifically, I will be.”

“No way!” Jane protests. You rest your index finger on her mouth, forcing her to pipe down.

“This will be the last thing,” You say, “Please.” You arch your back a tad so you're eye to eye with her, “You look absolutely stunning. There's no way anyone can wear that dress like you can, so why should I deprive it of the beauty it deserves?” This makes her blush again.

“Fine, but I'm paying for part of it.”

“Nope, you just have to cook me the best damn meal I will ever consume, so filling I won't need to eat anything else for at least three days. And you have to wear it for the rest of the day, and let me get a picture of you in it.”

“I'd do all that anyway! Please, Dirk! I can't keep letting you pay for everything.” She grumbles, but you ignore her and head over to pay the girl running the booth.

“Trust me, that dress will impress Jake so much, he'll have to ask you to marry him right away. All you have to do to repay me is be happy.” You pull out your wallet to count out the right amount of bills.

“But Jake's not the one I want to impress,” She says so quietly, you almost didn't hear her, and that was probably her intentions. But it makes you stop what you're doing to glance at her, it makes your eyes widen, it makes your heart skip a beat. The girl clears her throat, and you have a hard time handing over the money. She thanks you for your business and stashes the money away.

“He's right, though, kiddo. That dress does look amazing on you.” The girl smiles, picking up a pair of scissors to rid the dress of it's tag, “Put on something as simple as a vest and you two would look absolutely perfect together. Not that you don't seem like a cute couple already.” The girl shrugs as she puts the scissors away.

“We're not—” Jane begins, but you cut her off.

“Thanks, she starts doubting it after a while.” You smirk, as though Jane is unreasonable on the fake topic.

The girl laughs, “Don't doubt this guy, honey, he sounds like a total sweetheart. Totally jealous I can't find a man like this,” She pretends to whisper to Jane, though says it loud enough for Dirk to hear, he grins, “Anyway, have a nice day!” She smiles as she turns back to her table.

You look down at Jane as the pair of you begin to head away from the racks of clothes, a grin hinting your mouth. She glares back at you with raised brows. “Don't act as though you don't like pretending you're my girlfriend.”

“And you do like it?” Jane wonders, doubting you.

“Yes, I do, in fact,” You stop her in the center of the aisle, hand resting on her shoulder, you look over the edge of your lowered glasses to stare into her eyes, “We could always just make it not pretend.”

It takes a second for Jane to catch what you're really saying. She's so naïve. The blush returns once more, “I … Uhm...” You cut her off with a light kiss on her lips. She returns that kiss immediately after you pull away. Her hand quickly slides up to your hair, her fingers tangle themselves into it.

You hear someone yell “Get a room!” at you. You pull away from Jane to look at the guy. He stares back at you intensely, like you have no other choice than to follow his direct orders. Without her consent, you quickly pick Jane up from the ground, causing her to squeak as you curl her up in your arms.

“We already did.” You tell him, turn and walk away. You glance downwards to see Jane giggling as you walk, “Is there something you find funny, your majesty?”

She manages to say after the giggles stop, “Not at all, great knight, I am simply quite pleased to have you by my side, now.”

“I was always at your side, Jane.” You stare into the eyes that inspired you to buy that dress for her, no emotion showing on your face, only your honesty. Jane smiles tenderly and leans her head against your shoulder. You feel her chest heave in a content sigh. “I love you.” You whisper into her ear.

“I love you, too, Dirk.” She says sweetly, making your breath stop flowing for a moment.

“How 'bout we get out of here for today?” You ask her, she replies with a nod and you set her back on the ground. You lead her towards the exit. As you make it out of the convention hall, she slips her hand into yours, intertwining your fingers. You grasp her hand tightly, hoping you never have to let go.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read enjoy and review !!! nwn

==>

 

Jane swings the bag back and forth as she prances along the sidewalk next to you. She's still wearing the blue dress, since you didn't go back to your room before heading to the grocery store. You cling to her hand to ensure she does not bounce too far ahead of you. She smiles up at you, showing her pearly teeth. 

“So, you really have never had an actual dinner, not frozen pizza and ramen kind of dinners?” Jane asks, again.

“Bro cooks burgers on the old barbeque sometimes.”

“Other than that?”

“Well, it's not JUST frozen pizza and ramen,” You say, she raises an eyebrow, “But, yeah, that pretty much sums it up.” 

“Well, tonight, we will be having chicken breast with fried rice and-”

“And tomorrow?” 

“Spaghetti.”

“Oh, can we have that tonight? I haven't sketty in eons.”

“Alright, we can have it tonight.”

“Sweet.”

 

==>

 

You lay sprawled across your bed, staring up at the ceiling. You can hear Jane moving around in the kitchen, you know she hasn't been in there long, but it feels like you have been laying there for quite a while. You lift your head a little to look at her. She's facing away from you, but you're fine with that view. She's still wearing the blue dress, she didn't even argue about taking it off to cook.

You let your head drop back onto the sheets, not long after, Jane swiftly prances over to the bed, without alerting you, and plops onto it next to you. You turn onto your side, propping your head up with your hand, like Jane is.

“Is it ready?”

“No, silly! It has to cook first!”

You groan dramatically, “I'm so-o-o-o hungry.” Not really.

“Suck it up, Princess.” She smiles.

“Excuse me, there's no way you're not the princess in that dress.”

“Since when do princesses cook?”

“True. Okay. Improv. It looks kinda like a maid's dress.”

Jane glances at the dress, “Yeah, okay.”

“Oh, so you're my maid. I like this idea.”

She giggles, covering her mouth shyly with her hand. 

“So, that means I get to boss you around and tell you what to do.” You say suggestively. You roll onto your hands to hover above Jane. She stares up at you nervously, her face turning to a bright red shade. You grin slightly at her and lean down to kiss her passionately on the lips. 

She returns the gesture, pulling you closer to her and running her fingers through your hair. Your hand slowly moves farther up her leg, under her dress and towards her underwear.

“Uhm, Dirk?!” She squeaks after pulling away from him.

“Darn, I was hoping you wouldn't say anything.” You smirks.

Jane raises an eyebrow, “I thought you knew me better than that Mr. Strider.”

“Mr. Strider? Are you suggesting roleplay?”

“And what if I am.”

“That's hot.” You say, making Jane giggle.

“I'm sorry Mr. Strider, I can't indulge in your tomfoolery right now, I'm supposed to be cooking a meal!”

“Damn the man that requested such of you. Crocker, you don't need to spend your life cowering in the kitchen and cooking for this man. You could run away with me, we'll get a little kitchen of our own, and everything will be perfect.” You tell her, fake sincerity in your voice and eyes as you speak passionately about the 'dream' you have planned out for the two of you.

“Golly, Mr. Strider, that's quite the offer, it's very tempting, I must say! But I have a family! Brothers and sisters to feed! Dozens of them! I could never leave to let them starve while I gallivant around with you.”

“That's okay, Dave can take care of John.” 

“Right. Of course he will.”

“The kid's adorable, who wouldn't take care of him.”

“That's true.”

The buzzer to remind Jane of the cooking noodles went off suddenly, causing Jane to jump up in surprise. She tried to get out from beneath Dirk, but he refused to move his arm to allow her out.

“Diiiiirk.” Jane whined exasperatedly. 

“Jaaaaaane.” Dirk copied with equal intensity. Jane furrowed her brows and stared straight into his glasses for a moment. She slowly reached up after a moment to remove his shades. At that motion, Dirk immediately rolled onto his side, out of her way. Jane giggled as she made her way over to the kitchen. She took care of the noodles, draining them and placing them in a bowl for them to be served. Dirk sheepishly followed her from the bed to the kitchen, and watched her work from there. She pulls the pot of sauce off the stove, though it's not homemade, it's warmed up from a jar you bought at the store, Jane apparently added her own little ingredients to it. She sets everything out on the small table, and two sets of dishes.

You take a seat at the table, and wait for Jane to join you.

“Dirk, no shades at the table.” She grins as she sits across from you.

“What?”

“It's the same as no hats at the table.” Jane tells you flatly, though you know she has motives behind it.

“Does that mean I have to take my shirt off, too?” You gesture to the orange hat printed across your chest.

“Yes, and your shades. Chop, chop.” You take her up on that, making sure you remove the shades last, you sit across from her, shirtless and shadeless. Needless to say, you'd rather be completely nude than shadeless. You help her dish out the spaghetti, then dollop some sauce onto your plate. She added meat balls. Hell yes.

You take your first bite before her. She watches you slurp it up and bask in the glory. “Oh my God, this shit right here is absolute perfection.” You scoop up another forkful.

“Hey, do I need to start feeding you myself? Because it would be a real inconvenience if you choked.” 

“My apologies, m'am.” You say sarcastically and start nibbling at one noodle at a time. She rolls her eyes, a smile creeping onto her face.

“I bet Roxy and Jake are wondering where the heck we are right now and are freaking out.” She chuckles.

“Every time I turn the internet on on those things,” You nod at the shades, “I get bombarded by her messages. I'm betting your pesterchum is looking pretty beat up, too.”

“Gosh, I feel bad.” 

“Did you bring your computer? We could cam with her.”

“No. It would have been too much. I've got my phone.”

“Damn. Oh well, I guess we'll just have to put up with her fury when we get home.”

Jane shudders at the terrifying thought, “It won't be fun.”

“Yeah, but she'll get over it when she hears our little juicy piece of gossip.”

“I don't know why she likes gossip so much? Who does she have to tell it to. All she has is us and Jake.”

“Roxy's an odd duck. I stopped wondering about her a long time ago.” You say.

Jane chuckles, nodding in agreement. 

“Wouldn't it be great if all four of us could be here?”

Jane smiles at the thought, “Jake would be calling it his big adventure. Roxy would be having the time of her life. It would be great.”

“I'd say let's drive up to New York, but then we'd be leaving Jake out.”

“Yeah, I'd hate to do that.”

“He just had to be born in Hawaii.”

“So selfish.”

“He's probably that weird kid that everyone thinks is nuts, like Lilo.”

She laughs, “I'd bet a whole lot of cash on that. He probably loved that movie as a kid.”

“You're probably right.” You chuckle as you finish off the last of your food. “I'm sorry to say that I don't think I can eat another bite.”

“Not for another three days?”

“Definitely not for another three days.”

“Good, I've done my job.” You help Jane clear the dishes away from the tabletop, and you both opt to do them later, and decide on wandering the area for a while. It seems like a cool night, perfect for a walk. You each grab a sweater before heading out.

She slips her hand into yours, even against the cooling wind, her hand warms yours up like a blazing fire. You can easily picture laying in front of a fireplace in your own house you could own with her someday.

She talks you into going to a movie rental place, you easily agree to whatever she says at any time, though. 

“What should we watch?” She wonders as she pulls you through the isles, scanning the hundreds of DVD covers.

“Well, I know this great site this weird guy with these weird pointy shades runs, I bet you'd be pretty entertained by that.” You grin devilishly from behind her.

“Now would would I want to watch that when I can see the real deal in person.” She rebukes suggestively.

“Well, snap, Jane isn't actually a prude, guys. What are we still doing here?”

“Well, _I'm_ being a tease, 'cause there's no way you're getting a piece of this tonight.” She winks after gesturing to herself, then giggles as she prances away. You chase her into the next isle.

She starts scanning the movies again. You realize she's looking at Disney movies.

“Sweet, we're having a Disney night.”

“Yes! I want to watch Lilo and Stitch now.”

“Okay, can we get Tangled, too.”

She giggles sweetly, “You pick the princess movie?”

“Hell fucking yes. Who wouldn't pick that movie?”

Jane grabs the movie from the shelf, a smile still on her face. She takes your hand again and leads you towards the front desk.

“I'm renting these. Not you.”

“Fine.” You shrug, not bothering to put up a fight and make her feel worse about the money situation. She pays for the rentals and you exit the building. You take your time getting back to the hotel, and fool around on the slowly emptying streets.

When you make it back to your room, you lock the door behind you, assuming neither of you will be leaving again tonight.

“Okay, I'm going to change out of this first.” Jane says as she rummages through her bag. She pulls out some pajamas and heads for the bathroom.

“Wow, you can't change out here? It's not like I'm some stranger you just started rooming with.”

“I'm not stripping for you, Dirk.” She continues for the bathroom.

“Hey, I never said anything about that!” She slams the door to end the conversation.

Your purse your lips, accepting defeat, but you know you'll break her someday. Soon. You decide on putting Tangled in first, and Jane can't say a word about it. You relax on Jane's bed and watch the previews while waiting on Jane.

She hangs up the dress in the empty closet next to the bathroom and joins you on the bed. 

You're not more than half way through the movie when you realize Jane's asleep in your arms. You gladly let her sleep like that for the rest of the movie.

You let the credits play while you settle her properly into the bed, smiling at her peaceful face. Now you can see how much stress she was under before, now that you see her without it. She must be making herself worry too much about her dad and John. You turn off the television and all the lights. As you're about to climb into your bed, but you decide to curl up with Jane. She won't mind. You're not actually doing anything bad.

You slip under the covers with her, she immediately latches onto your body and you smile, wrapping your arms protectively around her and enjoying the glory of her presence, even if you only get it for a little while.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read, enjoy and review nwn

> Be Jane

 

Though the curtains are closed, you can feel the morning sunlight gleaming down on the sheets covering your body. And you feel … an arm? Something wrapped around you. You open your eyes to see the face of none other than Dirk Strider staring right at you.

“Dirk! Goshdon'tdothat!” You squeal, “I'm still not used to you actually being here. Just, wow. I thought you're a late sleeper.”

“It's a bit hard to with such a hot piece of ass laying right night to me.” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, making you burst out in laughter.

“Well, this … hot piece of ass … is going to go take a shower.” You say, climbing over him to make your way to the bathroom.

“Alright, I'll be in there in a few minutes.”

“You wish.” You say as you close the door behind you.

 

> Be Dirk for a little while longer

 

You tentatively decide to turn the wifi on on your shades. You slip them onto your head and start them up. Roxy doesn't take much time in pestering you.

 

TipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

TG: where in the fuck have you been

TT: Woah, manners, rolal.

TG: seriously dirk you havent answered me in two days

TG: youre scaring jake too

TG: poor sweet jake

TG: and janes prob super worried too

TG: I dunno

TG: she didnt message me yesterday

TG: but she said she was gonna be busy

TG: she was prob working

TG: but you mister

TG: you dont have a job

TG: so whats goin on with you

TT: Hey, I'm pretty damn famous, give me some credit for my work, Roxy.

TG: no way in hell

TT: Roxy?

TT: Are you sober?

TG: dont remind me

TG: stone cold sober for at least a day

TG: rose wont shut up

TT: Wow, I'm sorry, rolal.

TG: if youre sorry then tell me where the fuck you ran off to

TG: youre the one that fucking did this to me

TT: I can't.

TT: You'll get really angry.

TG: im already pissed 

TT: But you'll be even more pissed.

TG: i doubt its possible

TG: now fucking tell me

TT: No.

TG: dirk dont think i wont fucking hack my way into your gps

TT: Don't.

TG: too bad

TT: No, seriously Roxy, please don't.

 

You try to shut down the wifi, but everything except Pesterchum is frozen on your end. You let out a loud couple of curses at Roxy, and await her inquisition.

 

TG: what are you doing in atlanta????

TT: I'm at a con.

TG: theres no way in hell im believing that shit

TT: Well, it's true.

TG: okay

TG: why else are you in atlanta

TG: tell me dirk

TG: you know ill find out

TT: No, you won't.

TG: so there is another reason

TT: No, you won't find out, because there is no other reason.

TG: like hell

TG: fine dirk

TG: w/e

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

 

You sigh in relief, knowing she's finally gone. At that moment, Jane steps out of the bathroom, her hair still damp and clinging to her face.

“Hey, I heard you yell, everything okay?” Jane says as she makes her way to her bag to retrieve a set of clothes.

“Yeah, I'm—” You're interrupted by the Pesterchum notification. Shit. Fuck. Jane distracted you from turning off the wifi connection.

 

TG: YOURE IN ATLANTA WITH JANE??????

TG: WHAT IN THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO

TG: YOU COULDNT EVEN TELL YOUR BEST FUCKING FRIENDS

 

She apparently got a hold of the cam. You knew it was going to end up backfiring when you installed that piece of shit.

“Roxy found us out,” You say, “Say hi.”

 

TG: youre damn fucking right i found out

TG: put me on call or whatever

TG: can you do calls on those things

TG: what the fuck am i saying 

TG: you can do just about anything with those things

 

“She wants to go on call, you okay with that?” You ask, Jane nods glumly, still trying to figure out what exactly is going on. You reluctantly send a request to Roxy, which is quickly accepted.

“I can't fucking believe you two.” Roxy begins, “Do you know how, just, heart breaking this is? I thought you two were my best friends, other than Jake, can I just not trust anyone ever? Or am I just such a terrible friend that you don't want to actually tell me anything important. Of course I'm not important to you. I'm not important to anybody. I'm sorry I'm making this about me, but why shouldn't this be about me? It's about all of us, right? All of us being friends? I'm sorry I have such a hu-u-u-uge drinking problem, but you know what? I'm not. Because it helps me cope with everything I have to fucking deal with. Like this shit right here. Want to know what I'm doing right now? Making up the first batch of margaritas I've had in two days. You were worrying me that fucking much, Dirk. And Jane? What the actual fuck? You actually lied straight to me. Okay, well, you didn't really lie, but you told me you'd be busy, and you didn't think it would be important to say, 'yeah, Rox, I'm heading over to Atlanta to meet the guy I've had a fucking crush on for forever'? Wait, shit, Dirk you didn't hear that, I'm sorry Jane. But honestly, Dirk likes you, too, so just fucking get to it already. I mean, I don't really care that you guys are meeting up without me, 'cause I kinda figured we'd all meet at some point, but you couldn't just fucking come out and say it? Maybe we won't ever meet up, 'cause apparently this friendship isn't worth it.”

“I'm so sorry, Roxy.” Jane whispers, you look up from the carpet to see tears falling down her cheeks. You rush over and pull her into a hug. Her body shudders in your arms as she repeatedly apologizes to Roxy through her sobbing. You rest your chin against her hair, and rub her back soothingly.

“Awe, shit, Janey, are you crying?”

“Look, Roxy. It's not like we were never going to tell you. We just didn't know how to, I guess? We just … Okay, you _knew_ we like each other, so obviously we really wanted to do this.”

“Jane, I'm sorry, stop crying, I didn't mean to make you feel bad, I'm just mad at you guys. It's not your fault. Jane, stop, if I have to keep listening to you cry, I'm going to cry.”

“No, Roxy,” Jane sniffles, having trouble letting the words out, “I'm a terrible friend and I should have told you and I didn't and I'm really just a terrible friend and I'm sorry.”

“Jane, don't say that.” You tell Jane when she looks up at you, you plant a kiss on her forehead, she leans back onto your chest.

“Wo-o-oah, did I just see a smooch go down? Did that just happen?” 

“Yeah, she's mine now, hands off.”

“Damn, no lesbian action after all. Oh well, now I can turn my full focus to the courtship of mister English.”

“Good luck, Rox.” You chuckle.

“It ain't about luck, Strider. It's all about technique. You would know.”

“Right, so are we cool, then?”

She sighs loudly, obviously trying to make it seem like she hasn't made up her mind, “Yeah, whatever, but you got to cam with me at least once.”

“Neither of us brought a computer.” You tell her flatly.

“What the hell, Strider.”

“Sorry, Lalonde, it is what it is.”

“Fine, call me again.” She huffs, “Bye, Jane, Dirk. Have … fun.” She giggles for a second before hanging up. You peel off your glasses and toss them on the bed.

“You good?” You ask Jane. She's rubbing her eyes and her nose is red, but she seems to be alright.

“Yeah, I just, ugh, I should have told her.” She buries her face in her palms.

“Yeah, I know, babe.”

 

> Be Jane again now that that fiasco is over.

 

Even though you wore it all day yesterday, Dirk convinced you to wear the dress again. You're a bit flattered when you find out he has some dressy clothes packed away in his bag. Though it's not much, when he slips into the nice dress pants and the button up shirt, you feel like a perfectly matched pair. You feel a bit uncomfortable going out with so much skin exposed, but you do it anyway, to make Dirk happy.

The two of you wander around the con for quite some time, Dirk insists on stopping to get a lot of pictures with cosplayers. He even meets a couple of his fans, at that point you retreat into his shadow as much as you possibly can, embarrassed to be associated with _that_ in any way. You find an artist selling some amazing Problem Sleuth fanart that you decide to purchase without a second thought.

“Are you going to see him at three?” The guy wonders as he drops the change into your palm.

“Who?” You ask mindlessly.

“Andrew Hussie.” He says, “He's doing signings everyday.”

“Really?! Thank you, I had no idea!” You say excitedly, clutching the small poster to your chest, “I'm going to get him to sign this for me.”

“Cool, I'm flattered,” The guy grins. You leave the booth with Dirk, clinging to his arm in excitement.

“Did you hear that? Hussie's going to be here!” You squeal.

“Yeah, I heard him, I was standing right next to you.” He grins at your fangirling. It's the first time he's seen you hyped up about something that wasn't related to an oven.

“Oh, golly, this is so exciting!”

“Hey, chill, there's still three hours. Why don't we get something to eat?” 

“No, we have to go get good spots in line.”

“Okay, can I get something for us to eat while you pitch a tent in line?”

“Good plan. I'll meet you there!” You skip off to find the the line-up for this shindig. It doesn't take you long, with such determination, you'd be surprised if it had. There's already quite a few in line before you, but that's relieving; you'd rather not be the very first.

By the time Dirk finds you, you've taken to sitting on the floor and leaning up against the wall. He slides down the wall next to you, plopping a pizza box onto your lap.

“Thank you Dirk for this delicious meal we are about to consume.” You smile as you open up the box to reveal a steaming cheese pizza.

“Amen.” He tears a slice from the box and shoves almost half in his mouth. You don't bother to slow him down, you're too caught up in your own slice. The gooey cheese makes your mouth water as you shove it in. You're finished your first piece almost as quickly as Dirk.

The two of you quickly finish off the entire pizza, unfortunately.

“So, what are we going to do after we waste our lives waiting in this line?” Dirk asks you.

“I wouldn't call it a _waste,_ ” You say, “But I thought you would have an idea.”

“Not really.”

“That's unfortunate.” You rest on his shoulder, “There isn't a panel or anything you want to see?”

“Not really.”

“Well, aren't you such a bore?!” 

“What about you, little missy!” 

“What about me?”

“There isn't something _you_ want to do?”

“We're doing what I want to do right now. I'm going to meet Andrew Hussie.”

“Best way to spend three hours; sitting in a hallway for three hours so you can briefly meet a famous person.”

“It is the best, isn't it?” You chuckle.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow sorry i havent updated i a while i thought i had posted all of the chapters i had finished and just had to finish the last one but nope apparently not
> 
> anyway read review and enjoy uwu

> Be some weird stalker farther back in the line.

 

You can hardly stand for someone to be calling it stalking when this is your paid job. The Batterwitch herself is one of your more popular customers. Currently, you're watching her company's heiress, she's with some guy, some guy that she's been with all weekend. And you know the woman isn't going to be very pleased.

As you watch the girl, you can barely imagine that she's somehow related to the Batterwitch. You've never seen her in person, but there's no way. This kid seems to be so sickeningly sweet and innocent and the Batterwitch is … just not.

It seems that these two love birds are going to be here for a while, so you decide you should make that report to the witch that she has been demanding every half hour since she hired you. Which was just last night.

You punch in the number and hold the phone to your ear.

“You found her, right.”

“Yeah, I found her. We're at some thing in Atlanta. She met up with some guy here.”

“Ugh, that little fucking bitch, I am so sick of her shit.” The Batterwitch yells into the receiver, “What can you tell me about the boy toy.”

“From what I can see, they're pretty close, probably dating. I haven't been able to catch a name yet, but I'll get Droog on his case as soon as I do.”

“Good. Call me when you get anything else. Don't do anything drastic either, Slick, or there _will_ be consequences.” And with that, the line is cut. You put away the cell phone scowling at your client. Good thing she can't hear you.

 

> Be Jane

 

“Look at that.” You hold the poster at an arm's length as you walk next to Dirk, you hear him chuckle, “Look at that masterpiece, created on top of another masterpiece. It is by far the most glorious thing I have ever seen in my life.”

“It better be, with the amount of time we waited to get it.”

“Oh, you were having fun, you baby.”

"It would have been better if you had agreed to make out with me."

"I have to have some kind of leverage to make you do what I want. I can't just give it out whenever you want." You grin at Dirk.

"Much more of an evil mastermind than I thought. What did I get myself into." 

"Only the best thing that has ever happened to you."

"Yeah, probably."

You're walking back to your room with Dirk, since neither of you could find anything else to do at the con.

“I have a question.”

“Of course you do.”

“Why did you think I had a crush on Jake?” You come out with it, you've been wondering since he said it, “I mean, don't get me wrong, he's quite a catch.”

“Anyone would be mad to disagree with you,” Dirk says, “I don't know, that's just what made sense, and the way you talked about him sometimes...”

“Well, I admit I had a crush on him for a while, but it helped me realize who I really wanted. What do you mean it made sense?” You attempt to fathom how you and Jake being seen as a couple would be sensible.

“Come on, who would think that a girl like you would end up with a Strider? I'm never going to be able to make a steady life for myself, let alone someone else entirely. Jake understands how a family really works, he could give you that. I can't.”

“Please, Dirk. You're probably one of the most advanced mechanics in the country right now. The only route you're on is one that will take you straight to the top. You could even be the real, live Iron Man someday, if you wanted,” He scoffs good-naturedly, “And honestly, the only way I could ever agree that you don't have a solid understanding of family was if you didn't get along so well with Dave. But there's no way around the fact that you two are as close as brothers can be. And as for your _bro_ , he might be out a lot, but I know you care about him and such. And you look up to him. That's family.”

He seems to take your words to heart, Dirk lets out a calming breath, “You really think I could be Iron Man.” He lifts an eyebrow inquisitively.

“Of course, you'd do Tony Stark proud.” 

“I kind of like the thought of having my own building like his to work in, that would be great,” His eyes glaze over as he processes the fantasy, “Of course with a small bakery on the main floor for me to purchase some sweets from during my breaks.”

“Wouldn't be complete without it.”

 

You move about the small kitchen briskly, you're trying to take as little time as possible making this meal. While it was part of your agreement with Dirk, you don't want to leave him alone for too long.

He hadn't been joking about bringing his katana along. As soon as the two of you were hidden safely in the room, he pulled it out to show it off. It was quite an impressive sword as far as you knew, though your knowledge of swords is not as extensive as Dirk's. He also took it upon himself to show you his smuppet and Cal. Which are now proudly laid out on the empty bed Dirk hasn't touched since you got here.

"Do you even have any interest in going to the con tomorrow?" 

"I don't suppose so. I mean, we've barely been doing anything."

"Okay, good. I guess it's time for us to be heading back to Texas." 

You turn to stare at him through his shades, he puts on a sarcastic smile for you, "I never signed up for that." 

"What else are we going to do? It's not like we can go hang out at your house."

"If I didn't know any better, I would think you're trying to kidnap me."

"Kidnap is not my preferred term. I like to think of it as a surprise vacation."

"But what are we going to do there?"

"I don't know. Whatever you want! You can see the Striders in their natural habitat and where I grew up."

"I have to say, that would make quite an interesting field trip."

"Of course it would. Striders have to be the most interesting people you will ever meet in your entire life."

"You're probably right about that." You peer over at him as you reply to him in a sarcastic tone. "Well, I suppose, I'm already out of the house and dad has no idea where I am, we might as well keep him guessing?"

"Is that a smarty-pants yes I just heard."

"Yes."

"Hella fucking yes." He sighs satisfactorily, stretching out his arms and placing his hands behind his neck.

"Now Dirk, it's rude to swear in the presence of a lady."

"My bad, ma'm." 

"The judge will let you off this time." You chuckle, turning back to tend to your dinner. You call Dirk over once it's all ready and help him dish it out onto two plates. He takes a couple bites, noticeably melting at the taste in his mouth.

“Oh my God, Jane, it's going to be disastrous without your cooking.”

“That'll be too bad for you then.” You tease as you take a bite. You're not sure what he's being so dramatic about, it's a pretty average meal.

 

> Be Dirk.

 

You carry everything except Jane's bag back out to your car. You meet up with Jane in the lobby where you sign out, paying the total fees for your room. You insist that it was entirely your room and she was a guest, but you catch her slipping a few bills into the console of your car while you buckle up. You sigh and ignore her. 

It's not long after you're both out of bed that you've got the car on the road, heading back to your home in Texas.

Once you've been driving on the highway for a while, you relax on the leather seat and let your hand wander down to settle in Jane's. You rub the soft flesh of her hand tenderly.

“Jane,” You say without turning your eyes from the road ahead of you, “Could you do me a favour?” 

“I'm not going to have roadside sex with you, Dirk.”

“Damn, there goes all my entertainment, this is going to be one hella boring trip.” You chuckle sarcastically.

“What is it?” Jane asks, a smile still lingering along her lips.

“Would you put in one of the CD's from the console. Any one is fine.”

“Okay,” Jane opens the console and pulls out the selection of CD's. “Hm, I've never heard of any of these. Oh, wait—”

Jane lifts up a Florence and the Machine CD, her favourite album.

“One of these things is not like the rest.”

“Well, don't flatter yourself, I didn't buy it just for the trip.” You tell her, “But it wouldn't hurt to say I'm pretty sure I bought it the day after you told me it was your favourite.” Jane looks to her lap, a small blush framing her face. “So, how about it?”

Jane sighs, but slides the CD into the player. Jane begins singing and it's not long before you've joined in, adding a incomprehensible slur of a musical voice to the song.

 

==> Be Slick again, finally.

 

You've been on the road with Boxcars for some time, closely following the two idiots the Batterwitch stuck you on. It's been almost twelve hours you think. The sky is dark, but it's not far ahead, a city is coming up on the road ahead.

Your phone rings. Boxcars looks at you expectantly, you scowl and answer it.

“Spades Slick.”

“Where the fuck are you at.”

You sigh, what a sweet girl the Condesce is, you think sarcastically, “We're on the road, been following those two since this morning.”

“And you didn't think it would be important to tell me that?”

“It's us, in a car, on the road, there's not much important stuff goin' on here. Just us, in a car, on the road.”

“Are you sassin' me?”

“No, ma'm.” You grunt, you're beginning to get tired of the Batterwitch. It would be nice if she would just let you do your job for once.

She replies with a sarcastic sigh then, “Have you found something on the boy toy yet?” She wonders exasperatedly. 

“No, not yet.” You reply quietly.

“Are you trying to lose your job?”

“No, ma'm.”

“Well, then you better be finding _something very soon_.” She says, hanging up before you can let out another word. You press the end button, sliding the phone into your pocket. You see Boxcars smirk at you from the corner of your eye. You almost say something, but your phone goes off once again, sending your hand into your pocket to retrieve it.

“Spades Slick.”

“Alright, I think I know who the kid is.” Droog says from the other end, you straighten up. “Dirk Strider, blonde, about six feet, age seventeen, often seen with a pair of pointy shades from looks of these pictures.”

“Houston, Texas?” You read from the sign as you pass it.

“Yeah, born and raised.”

“That's our guy.” You grin into the receiver excitedly. “Thanks Droog, keep digging.” You hang up, leaving him to continue his work.

“Gonna call her?” Boxcars says in a gruff voice as soon as you hang up. Your mood turns gruesome at the thought of calling her back right after she hung up on you. You decide to return the phone to your pocket instead.

“We'll wait a few minutes.”

 

> Be Dirk

 

You pull the car into a small parking lot behind one of many buildings. It's late at night, but you're finally home. Jane passed out not long ago, you pull the key from the ignition, turning off the car before getting out. 

You open Jane's door and shake her shoulder gently, “Jane, wake up, we're here.” She jumps awake, her eyes wide.

“Oh, Dirk, right, okay.” She slumps out of the car, tiredly rubbing her eyes. You position your arm around her shoulders to keep her steady. “What about our stuff?”

“We'll get it tomorrow. It's pretty late.”

“Alright, so, this is where you grew up?”

“Houston, Texas, born and raised.”

“Looks nice.”

“Right, so luxurious.”

“Hey, I never said there was anything wrong with it, mister sass.”

“Neither did I.”

You lead her up to the front door, unlock it, then continue with Jane to the third floor. Dave's been remembering to lock the door, thankfully. You unlock that door, too. 

You step in after Jane, and flick on the light to reveal the messiest living room she has probably ever laid eyes on. There's clothing all over the place, unwanted fast food wrappers left out to fend for themselves. Those strong wrappers, having to live in Strider territory.

“Don't even bother blaming this on Dave, this is how I pictured it all.” Jane tells you quietly, you smirk without a response to give. You lead her towards the hallway, towards your bedroom, but are interrupted by a katana slashed at your head through the darkness of the hall.

“Dave! Chill! It's me and Jane.” You grab Dave's hand before he can make another move.

“Couldn't even call me to tell me.” Dave lowered his katana.

“Not a surprise if I tell you.” 

“So, what you want to strife now? It's like midnight.”

“I never said anything about a strife.”

“Well, I did.”

“It's midnight. No fucking way, goodnight.” You pull Jane, by the hand, past your crazy little brother. You lead her to your own bedroom, shutting out any Dave related annoyances behind you.

Jane gets into your bed without a pause. You slide in after her, wrapping your arms around her. You're both soon out for the night.

 

==>

 

It's not until late in the morning that you wake up. You both had been up for almost sixteen hours straight the day before. You're surprised you didn't sleep in longer. Jane stirs almost as soon as you've regained consciousness.

She turns over so she's facing you. She looks much better rested.

She gives you a quick peck on the lips. “Good morning, mister Strider.”

“Sleep well?” You return with a lazy smile.

“Very well, though now I feel really gross.”

“I'm sorry, I have that effect on people.” She grins at you, “Go have a shower, I'll bring our stuff up.” She sighs lazily, but complies and rolls out of bed to find the bathroom.

You change out of your greasy clothes you had on since the day before, then step out to retrieve your bags from the car.

The trunk pops open as you approach. You easily heave the bags out. You set them on the cement to close the trunk. Before you can even reach to grab them again, the blade of a katana meets the side of your arm, forcing you to pause.

"I haven't had any strife practice for a few days." Dave says.

"Neither have I, but you don't see me running around with my sword out."

"But you totally want to. Come on, Jane's busy, you've got nothing to do."

"Fine." You growl at last, you tear you own katana from your bag in a flash, poised ready for battle.

Dave takes the first swing, as usual. You easily dodge that, and a few more attempts. You swing at his legs, knowing he'll jump out of the way just in time, which he does. He flips backwards, landing a few feet from where he was before. You flash step to his left side and take a swing at him.

 

> Be Jane

 

After drying yourself off and stepping back into your clothes for a short while, you tiptoe back to Dirk's room to find he's no longer there. You check his closet, to be sure it isn't the home base of some prank. You quietly comb the rest of the apartment before returning to Dirk's room, puzzled. You remember him saying he would get your things, so you go to the window. 

Three floors down, you can see a fight going down in the parking lot. Two blades flashing through the air, and Dirk is at the end of one.

You rush downstairs as quickly as you can, running for the parking lot. You realize it's a strife between brothers, from what you've heard, a common thing in the Strider household. You stop at the edge of the parking lot to let the fight continue it's course. The two seem extremely invested in the fight. You're so intrigued by Dirk's skill that you don't realize how dangerously close they slowly get to you. Dirk somehow ended up with his back to you, only a few feet away, when Dave slashes at him, cutting far to close to you.

A man jumps out from a car, a knife in one hand, pistol in the other. He raises the gun to point at Dave, Dirk flash steps to you, shielding you with his own body.

“I'd suggest that you keep your blade away from miss Crocker here, boy.” He threatens Dave.

“Hey, she's the one that came out here. Mind your own damn business.” Dave shouts.

“I'm serious, kid, if you're not careful, you're going to be getting yourself into a real pain in the neck,” He growls, “And I don't mean that metaphorically.”

When the threat of the stranger left them, Dirk spun around, grabbing Jane in a tight hug as Dave slowly stepped towards them.

"Jane? Are you okay?" Dirk's words shivered as they left his mouth.

"I'm fine, Dirk. Don't worry." Jane replied, muffled by Dirk's shirt. Dirk reached over and pulled Dave into their hug.

"Bro, I'm fine." Dave said, but wrapped his arms around Dirk and Jane anyway.

After their little moment, they quickly headed back upstairs, agreeing that it would be best to keep the strifes on the roof while that guy was still roaming.

"Jane, I don't want you going any where by yourself. Okay?" Dirk said to Jane once they were back in his room.

"Honestly, where am I going to go?" Jane replied, a tease sounding in her voice.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read review and enjoy uwu

> Be the creep

 

Again, you're nothing like that. This is your job and you're good at it. Even your girlfriend agrees, though she's not a big fan of the safety risks.

Boxcars inhales the remainder of his burger, bringing you out of the wistful memories of Ms. Paint. 

You sigh, reminding yourself of the task at hand. You pull out your phone, Boxcars scoffs. He knows who you're gonna call. 

You punch in the Batterwitch's number.

"Spades, you better got something."

"Yeah, we're sittin' in front of the boys house right now. I had to blow our cover, though, to-"

"YOU WHAT!?" She screams at you. "YOU FUCKING INCOMPETENT BUFFOON."

"She almost got sliced in half by some kid!" 

The Batterwitch sighs exasperatedly. "Whatever. Anything else?"

"Yeah, we found out the boytoy's name." You tell her, giving yourself a good, dramatic pause, "Dirk Strider."

" _THAT_ LITTLE FUCKING SHITSTAIN PRACTICALLY KIDNAPPED _MY_ HEIRESS?"

"Ah, so you know the name?" You say a bit sarcastically. Okay, a lot sarcastically.

" _Know_ him?! His fucking asswipe of a father has given me nothing but trouble."

"Oh, a modern Romeo and Juliet." You say, "How nice."

"No, Spades, not nice. I want her outta there immediately."

"Well, you're gonna have to wait a bit. Droog and Deuce haven't gotten here yet."

"No. Right. Now."

"Well I can't do that, miss. Those Strider kids have some skill it's going to take at least the four of us to get her out."

"Fine, you wuss. But if even one little hair on her head is harmed before you get to her, Spades, you better pray to the gods you live to see that precious little girlfriend of yours."

And the line disconnects. You hang up your end. That witch really is something crazy.

  
> Be Jane.

 

Dirk sticks out his tongue, scrunching up his face and crossing his eyes. You let out a laugh, he locks his eyes on you, the stupidest expression still plastered on his face. And then he breaks out in laughter along with you. You give yourself an under bite, and lose it sooner than Dirk did.

“You know, there's something we should be doing instead wasting our time with this shit.” Dirk says.

“Oh yeah? What's that?”

“Calling Lalonde.”

“Oh, snap, you're right.”

He chuckles at you and pulls you off the bed, “Come on.” You follow him to the computer at his desk, which was previously blasting music. He turns it off before calling Lalonde.

He pats his lap, motioning for you to take a seat.

“Dirk...” 

“Jane,” He grins up at you, “I swear I won't cop a feel or anything while on cam.”

You sigh and give in, making yourself comfortable just as Roxy accepts the invite. He wraps his arm around your waist, and leans his head lazily against the side of your shoulder.

“Aaaaaawe, lookit you two cuties.” You hear Roxy's voice come from the computer. You see the familiar face on the screen and smile. “Did two you frick?”

“No, Roxy!”

“Damn,” Roxy says, before leaning in close to the cam, “Well, when you do. Details, Janey, I want expiliset details.” She's so drunk. Then she gasps, “We should call up Jake.”

Dirk agrees and reaches up to send an invite to the last member of your closely knit group.

“Dirk, Roxy, is this a gathering of us four? Should I invite Jane?” Jake's voice appears before the live feed of him. “Jane!” He says, surprised, once he can see each of his friends, “How on Earth did you wind up in Texas?”

“Wow, Roxy, you didn't tell him.” Dirk interrupts Jake.

“Yeah, I thought it isn't my business. Besides it was funny to watch him keep freaking about you guys not answering us or anysing.” 

“Thanks, Roxy, what an honest, caring pal.” Jake says flatly. “So, Jane what _are_ you doing in Texas?”

“Dirk and I met up in Georgia, we went to my first con and now we're here because I don't feel like facing the wrath of my father just yet.” You reply.

“Woah, Janey did you, like, run away?” Roxy asks, “Bad. Ass. Girl.”

“Yes, well, I don't think my dad will think the same so.”

“You know, if you want I could totes swing down there and just like smooth it over for you.” Roxy winks at you through the cam.

“No. Ew, Roxy, please.” You sigh. But you know there's truly no point in trying, she'll just keep badgering you.

“Wow, Jane, that's a tad rude of you. Just because you ain't gettin' the d, doesn't mean I shouldn't.”

“You're not talking about the same d, right?” Dirk states.

“Hey, if I say kiss will you guys actually kiss? Like the thing they do at weddings?”

“Yeah, sure … at our wedding.” Dirk replies.

“You're getting married?” Jake says, very surprised.

“No, silly,” Roxy replies, “But they've totally been smooching it up since Georgia.”

“What? No way!” Jake gasps.

“Wow, you didn't tell him that either.” You say.

“Naaaw, course not. Thought it would be funny to see his face once you two smooched, so thanks for ruining my plans.”

“Well, it's not _too_ late.” Dirk says, before quickly cupping your jaw and planting a kiss on you.

 

> Be Roxy

 

You are now, at last, Roxy. Though you won't be for long.

But you don't know that.

You're currently watching two of your best friends making out. Wow, that sounds creepy. But wow, they are so perfect. 

You honestly feel a bit hurt, with all the feelings you've had for Dirk. But you're willing to put those aside for your best friend's happiness. Especially when you can now catch the full attention of Jake English. You were not exaggerating when you said you could now turn your full attention to his courtship. The guy _is_ really great, and it's hard to ignore that.

Speaking of Jake English. 

You look to his face on the screen. He's still surprised, but his face becomes a bit bashful for a moment. The colour reflecting on his face changes and you know he's switched windows.

“Okay, love birds, if you can keep your pants on you've got friends here, remember.” You giggle as you remind them. They stop abruptly. Jane's face turns red.

“Ugh, there's someone at the door.” Dirk says. He gives Jane a peck on the lips as he get up to answer the door.

Once he's gone, you start talking to Jane. “So, what are you guys gonna do now.”

“Oh, I don't know. Dirk knows this area, I figured he would have some ideas. We only just got in last night.”

“Awe, your first instinct was too call us?”

“Well, technically no. I think the Strider gene kicked in again and he got the instinct to strife with Dave.”

“Dumb boys and their strifes. No offense Jake.”

“None taken,” He shrugs, “The two of you have never seemed like the type to strife.”

“Because we're girls?” You ask.

“No, Jane's just quite the lady, not saying she couldn't beat someone to a pulp, and Roxy, honestly, you're too drunk to handle the coordination.”

“Well, sure, but buddy trust me, you let me somber up and someday I'll beat _you_ to a pulp.” You get a chuckle out of Jane.

“Alright, Lalonde, you're on.” He grins.

“I'm just warning you, English, I—” You're cut off when you hear a gasp and a screech come from Jane. You see two men enter the room in front of the cam and dart across the room to Jane.

“Jane! Nonononono.” You scramble to help her, but that's an impossible feat from halfway across the country.

 

> Be Dirk

 

Your vision is blurry, but you can see well enough to catch a good view of one of the goons standing next to you. You hear Jane scream and you unsteadily get to your feet, grabbing the nearest katana in the process. You swing it at the chubby goon. He swats you away like a fly.

Two guys carry Jane out into the living room. She's struggling against them and trying to hit one with her fist. You stagger over to the guy that swatted you away, a bit more in control of yourself now, and swing your katana at him once again. You nick him, leaving a deep gash in the side of his arm. He grabs at you but you flash step to your left, to stand in front of him. You jab at him this time, but he moves so that you only graze the inside of the same arm. He latches on to your shirt and knocks the katana from your hand.

“Slick?” The guy asks one of the guys carrying Jane.

“She'll get pissed if you kill him. Knock him out.” He growls, and continues to try tying up Jane. The big guy turns back to you, wasting no time in throwing his fist in your face.

You drop to the ground, it feels like you were slammed into it by a giant. As you feel yourself quickly going under, you hear Jane screech your name in a pained tone. 

She's crying and you can't do a damn thing to stop her.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so last chapter !!! read enjoy and review !!! uwu

==>

 

“Dirk! Seriously, dude, wake the fuck up!” You hear Dave shouting at you from above, “Come on, don't fuck with me!”

Your head is pounding, and him shouting really is _not_ doing a thing to help. You reach with your hand and slap him across the cheek. You hold your head as you sit up, groaning at the throbbing that is pounding like a beat through your head.

“Hey, chill, you got hit really bad.”

“I can't fucking chill right now!” You yell. 

“Just tell me what happened! I know Jane definitely didn't do this.”

“Jane.” You remember the look on her face you only caught a glimpse of when they dragged her from your room.

“Yeah, where is she?”

“She's in trouble.”

“Yeah, that doesn't help me.” You ignore Dave and get to your feet.

“Dirk! Just relax for a second!”

“Dave, I can't fucking relax for a second! Jane's gone and I got to find her!” 

“Do you even know where the fuck she is?”

“No! That's why-” 

“And do you think you'd be any help at all even if you did know?”

You scowl at him, but instead of going for the door, you go to your bedroom. It seems that Roxy and Jake ended the call a while ago. You plop into your computer chair and open google. You type in “slick criminal” and you find the name Spades Slick. You look him up on google, you find article after article about the infamous criminal, he worked for plenty of people as a hitman, including, apparently, the Betty Crocker company. You come across a photo of the guy, and recognize him immediately. 

You snatch your phone from your bedside table and return to your computer chair. You punch in your bro's number as Dave saunters in, and rests against your doorframe. 

“I told you to call me if you have an emergency only.” Your bro says in a gruff voice.

“It is. You're familiar with Spades Slick, right?” 

He chuckles, “Yeah, sure we'll go with those words.”

“Well, I think he's working for the Batterwitch at the moment, and he's got Jane.”

“I feel sorry for that kid, she's probably got no freedom. Then again, it could be problematic in the witch's mind that you're related to me.”

“Do you got any suggestions for me?”

“Check the airport, he's got to get her to the Batterwitch or back home as soon as possible.” He tells you after only a second of thinking it through.

“Thanks. I'll call if I need anything else.” You tell him and hang up. You grab your keys from the bedside table, “We're going to the airport.” 

 

> Be Jane.

 

You're currently fuming in the back of a large van being driven by your captors. You know you've seen pictures of a couple of these guys while in the headquarters of the Betty Crocker company. You're fully aware of the war the Condesce deals with behind the back of the company and the media. And these guys are vital to her winning.

“So, boys,” You rest your chin in palms and your elbows on your knees, “What are we doin' here?”

They don't answer, don't even give you a quick glance.

“Sorry, it's just that when I get kidnapped I like to know where I'm going, who I'm with. My father taught me to be a very cautious person.”

Still nothing.

“He taught me how to do everything I know. I know how to cook because of him. I have a very safe future because of him, which than you can say, apparently. Can't be a very safe field of work.”

“Would you just _shut up._ ” One of them says.

“Now is that any way to talk to your employer's heiress.” You tsk. 

“I'm sure she'd understand.”

You sit back and sigh.

 

> Be Roxy.

 

You're currently sitting in the airport, waiting for your flight to Texas. You may have never met Dirk, but you know your mom is good friends with his Bro. She immediately agreed when you suggested to her that she send you and Jake to Texas. You've never been happier about her wealth.

You get a message from Jake. He's about to get on the plane. You still have a little while. Hopefully you'll both arrive around the same time. You reply to his message saying have a nice flight, I'll see you there, yadda yadda yadda.

Then you send another message to Dirk. He's either been ignoring you or he's knocked out. At this point, you can only hope that he's alright.

 

> Be Dirk.

 

You hazardously pull into a parking lot near the airport, to leave your car there. You know that they aren't going to be in the public area of the airport. You'll have to sneak into the runways. Dave follows you out, down the block to the fence surrounding the runways. You spot a black van next to a small airplane at the right end of the runway.

At the top of the fence is barbed wire. You can totally jump that.

You climb to the top of the fence, then take out your katana, cutting what wire you can and bending the rest down with the blade. You heave yourself over, but catch yourself on a bit of stray wire. It's just a small cut on your forearm. As Dave climbs up the fence you tell him to be careful, and he's next to you in seconds without a scratch. You sneak around the perimeter, inching your way towards the stray van. The closer you get, the easier it is to identify some of the guys. You spot Spades Slick, some of the other you recognize from the news and your Bro's own files.

You're soon standing next to the van, standing on the opposite side from Slick. You straighten up to peer through the tinted windows of the van. No sign of Jane. 

You step out into Slick's view.

“Where is she, Slick?” You demand.

He only replies with a grimace. You lift your katana in response. He pulls out a couple knives from somewhere in his coat. You slash at him, you want this fight to be over as soon as possible. 

He takes a few stabs at you, and you do the same to him. You eventually lay a deep cut into his left arm, coming close to the bone. His knives fall to the ground, he grabs his arm, a grimace still on his face.

Dave comes from behind you, “Go!” He shoos. He has his katana out, pointed at Slick to keep him in line, as well as the rest of his crew. Nobody messes with a Strider.

You take a second before following his orders and climbing up the stairs, into the plane. The other people in the plane must have seen your performance, it seems too easy to be true. You find Jane in the back of the plane. 

Her face lights up when she sees you. She hadn't broken down as far as you can tell. What a trouper. 

You saw off the ropes binding her wrists and ankles, she tackles you once she's free. You hear her finally tearing up and you can feel your eyes water. 

“We gotta go.” You say. You both take a second to clear the excess water from your eyes. You exit the plane swiftly. 

You exit the plane, without stopping you run past Dave, he lowers his sword and follows you to the part in the fence where you snuck in. Dave goes over, then you help Jane up and over before climbing up. 

The three of you sneak away from the fence triumphantly. Back on the sidewalk, you walk quickly, your arms slung protectively around Jane and Dave. You head towards the parking lot, but crash dramatically into two new arrivals. Jane is knocked to the ground and you hasten to help her up. You go to apologize to the couple you collided with, but you recognize the faces.

“Jane!” You hear a squee and Jane is knocked from your side again. A curly haired blonde has her arms wrapped tightly around her. You turn to look at her friend.

“Aloha, old chap.” Jake smiles, adjusting his glasses. Is that a smear of black near his bottom lip? Probably just the lighting.

“What the heck are you guys doing here?” You ask, smirking at Jane as she is suffocated by Roxy. 

“My momma flew me out here when I told her what happened and she couldn't come herself.” Roxy finally let go of Jane. You notice she's sober.

“And I had some money saved up for exactly this sort of adventure anyway.”

“Yeah, we couldn't let you be Janey's one and only hero just because you're a thing. Jeez, Dirk, it's not all about you.” Roxy teases.

“My heroes.” Jane pulls them both into a hug, you chuckle and join in.

“So now what?” Jake wonders.

“Pff, how am I supposed to know.” You smirk.

“How about a new great adventure!” She says, Roxy locks her arm in Jane's. 

“Yeah! It's adventure time!” 


End file.
